Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Morning After...

So, I woke up this morning and the first thing on my mind as my stomach began to twist and turn was "OMG I started a blog! TMI! TMI! What was I thinking?! I can't share all that information on the web" and then I went to the bathroom and thought "Oh you silly girl, but who really cares what you do? Besides, ain't like anyone's reading least not right now...maybe never...OMG OMG no one cares? Stop that!!! You're doing it for fun." Then after being relieved (both literally and figuratively) I started to think "WOW, if I were to be involved in some sort of crime and needed an alibi my blog could possible save me" and then it was like "hey, snap out of it! Just continue blogging, get out of your head and quit trying to rationalize everything you do."

Getting Out of My Head.  Yeah, that's something I'd love to do. It's always easier said than done. You see, I'm a lawyer and that's what lawyers are trained to do - to stay in their heads in order to analyze and rationalize every minutia of a case. I wasn't always like this, but law school changed me. Prior to law school, I had no idea how to compartmentalize my thoughts into some rational sense that I could communicate to others. I was more like a child - often blurting half sentences or words in hopes that others would just understand me, which I always found so frustrating, especially when they'd go "huh?" Being in my head can sometimes be a good thing, but I find it's often bad for me because I start to rationalize everything I do in life, which leads to endless thoughts of "what if's" and insurmountable indecisions that can be paralyzing. It's what I like to call "Analysis Paralysis" and it hinders my inner Amazon Goddess and blocks my creativity. I'm not saying I want to revert to the fully grown 5 year old I was prior to law school cause at least I now know how to streamline my thought process and communicate effectively with others in a verbal manner as opposed to getting frustrated and wanting to scream and punch others in the face for not understanding me, but I would like to be somewhere inbetween (sans the violence).

Analysis Paralysis. Of course it can strike anyone, anywhere at any time and it can be deadly...deadly for your inner goddess (men have inner goddesses too). It's not something that just strikes lawyers (or judges), but anyone who strives for perfection and/or fears making a wrong choice. That is, anyone who is a "codependent" (hopefully, you would have read up on it as I recommended in my last post and figured out that you are somewhat codependent). Actually, it's not a codependent issue - I'm just messing with ya - you're probably not even codependent, but you may have felt stuck at times in life. We all do at one point or another and that's when we get into our heads and allow analysis paralysis to take over, which can be down right depressing. Some of you may choose to face whatever is bogging you down and change your circumstances, which is highly commendable, and others, like me, may choose to just become little busy bees, working all the time, putting everyone's needs first so we don't have time to even think about ourselves. Well, I want to be the one that faces all her fears from here on out.

Overcoming Analysis Paralysis in Bermuda. I find traveling abroad to places where no one knows you is a sure way to overcome analysis paralysis and gain new inspiration.

Actually, I will talk about Bermuda in my next blog entry cause I have to get some work done around here.  Although, I'm starting to see how blogging can become somewhat addicting - it's loads of fun and somewhat therapeutic. A tout a l'heure!

Oh in the meantime, check this out: this site claims that MOX!E is about stepping out of your comfort zone and being willing to do what you really want to do even though it scares you. Yet you know it will provide untold rewards!
Sounds like it's up my alley, but not sure what it's all about - if you do, drop me a line (as if anyone is reading this...eventually, someone will, n'est-ce pas?). Ciao Chau!